And the beat goes on

And the beat goes on…

Hows your special gay diet? My lunch buddy Nick asked today.

Together we had revolutionalised the office lunch. We’d made it worth eating. Salads have been given a make over, wraps were orgasmic and cous cous was actually worth looking forward to.

But I’ve dumped her in favour of cereal and she thinks I’m stupid. I am stupid. I am just doing it because Hannah said she was and I thought it sounded like a challenge.

Today I bought 3 new cereals and introduced Hannah to the wonders of soya milk. It’s better for you than milk, apparently. And it doesn’t taste like a cow’s bum.

I am enjoying the diet. I’m not getting as hungry as I thought I would. But tomorrow I’m out on the road and I’m a trifle scared that I’m going to have to eat real food and the Special K gods are going to strike down upon me with great vengeance and glorious anger.

I wrote the above on the 14th April. It is now the 27th May and I’m pleased to say the diet worked, I now like porridge.

It worked to make me more aware of what I ate, more boring about what I could eat, and more guilty if I sinned. It worked at making me lose my lunch buddy, destroy more rain forests with my consumption of soya milk and become boringly neurotic about calories.

It also worked to shave off a few pounds, but when you have lost your lunch buddy and there’s no trees left, who cares for pounds?

Hehehe. I do. I thinly do.

1st June – no more diet chat. My June resolution is to stop talking about food and public transport. It’s rubbish. From now on my blogs will be filled with the scrumptious stuff of summer, as it is summer now, I will write only about sunshine and hacky sac and holidays and how June is the best month in the whole calender of months because it means I get to have a birthday.